A look at my thoughts...

Today as I worked my mind kept drifting from one thing to the next. There was a conversation that I'd had with a friend that just keep replaying in my mind.

I had a long and emotion draining day last Fri. and I decided to ignore the little voice telling me to pray about it. Instead I sent a message to a good friend via Facebook. In it I vented, and oh the venting I did! Now I'm quite embarrassed at how childish, selfish, and pathetic I sounded, but at the time it all seemed so true and I didn't care if I was whining.

There were many things discussed in this message, one of which was how I felt about the roles of friendships in my life, or you could say the expectations I have concerning friendships. What I received back was so true, but reading it felt like taking a knife to my gut. My friend told me very nicely, without sugar coating it, that my expectations of a friend were unreasonable. Then preceded to explain their meaning. Wow! Not what I'd expected...but there I went again expecting things. In thinking about excerpt of our conversation I've realized just how right this person is. I expect way to much from my mere mortal friends.

Why do I expect the things I know to be true of God, to be true in my human relationships? Here are just a few thoughts that ran through my brain...

* God is always with me -- my friends can't be at my beck and call 24/7...neither should they be.

* God knows exactly how I'm feeling all the time and when I need His presence most -- my friends can't read my emotions to know the highs and lows every time, and foresee them coming...they can't know exactly when I want them to be there for me.

* God can provide anything I will ever need -- my friends can't take care of all my needs, they are limited.

* God always has my best interest in mind -- my friends want me to be happy and successful, but probably not at their own expense.

* God sent His only Son to redeem my soul -- my friends don't even come close on this one...

Basically, I realized that if my friends met all the criteria that I was trying to impose on them, I wouldn't need God. He would be just like all my other friends. This thought astounded me. While I've been busy looking at the errors in my human relationships, I've missed many opportunities to marvel at God's perfectness and lack of errors. He fulfills what I'm looking for so perfectly, and yet I manage to overlook that day after day.

God forgive me...and thank you for being all I need in a friend.