Two options...

Regret is a terrible thing - wishing to go back and change things, feeling haunted by one's past, fearing it will catch up with you.

There are so many things in life one can regret. It's amazing how many ways one person can mess up -- so many ways this person has messed up.

Even more amazing -- how easily those mistakes can track you down.

Perhaps it's not even your own mistake. Maybe it's that of a friend or family member, but it haunts you and hurts you.

Maybe the shame is yours.

Maybe it's a shared shame - maybe you're ashamed in someone else's place - perhaps it's a stupid action - or maybe it's simply a lack of action...there are so many possibilities it boggles the mind.

Today has my stomach in knots. It's rolling from regret. Regret in misplaced trust. Regret for poor decisions on my part. Regret in not taking action.
Along with regret, I often face fear. Today's fear - fear of my past. Fear for my future.
I've felt this fear before. It's consuming, it's sickening...yet -- it's got to be given to God.
The vulnerability must be given to Him, the regret, the fear, the all-consuming, sickening fear in the pit of my stomach...that has to go to Him. Otherwise, I'm lost.

I find myself uncertain of where to begin. Uncertain of how to move forward. Uncertain of myself. Uncertain of so many things.
This time I'm different. Life's different. Things are already messed up. It's just an addition. More to the load. Another of Life's turning points. I'm none to eager to turn...to reach for those bootstraps...yet there are only ever two options...