Blue in the face...

Sometimes I just sit back and ask myself why? Why do I bother? Why do I care? Why do I try? Why should it matter? Why did I think it'd be different? Why does this always happen? Why do I get involved? Why me? ...the list of "why"s is seemingly endless.

Tonight I've pondered most of the above, yet I'm still sitting here with no answers. The fact of the matter is, I may never have answers to those questions. That's not important though.
Yeah, right now I want them. Right now it's important. But in the end it's not usually the why that matters, it's the who...or rather Who matters. If I weren't dwelling on me, my problems, my family's problems, my friend's problems...if I were concentrating on the right Person, then most of this would seem so small. I'd be able to gain the right perspective on things, to leave my worries in more capable hands.

This is so hard for me to do...I all too often forget that it's not really about me and my concerns, that there's a much broader picture and I need to ask for the eyes to see it.

God,
      I ask for you to ease my troubled mind, and to help me lean completely on you and not on my own understanding. My finite mind gets so easily hurt and confuse, worried and upset...but you care about me deeply and I ask for you to give me the ability to look beyond my own life and to see Your greater goals and purposes. Teach me through life's experiences I pray. I want to be more like You. I love You.
Amen.